Yesterday afternoon, the two smartest people when it comes to pop music (aka, me and my friend Josh) were complaining about how dumb America is and then managed to dream up the most PERFECT collaboration evz. Here's how it went down.
Enrico: WHY DID "I DO NOT HOOK UP" PEAK AT 23?? stupid America
Josh: UG. i thought it would do better
Enrico: and now its 32, aka never gonna get higher
Josh: exacterz. "please don't leave me" better get its butt outta the 40s and go higher
Enrico: but it just dropped from 40 to 41
Josh: NO. ug. so mad. i hate america for not loving kelly and p!nk
Enrico: yeah, America is like "Kelly? Pink? Lame!" and Flo Rida's SINGLE went three times platinum X |
Josh: ug. DUMB. they need to do another lady marmalade esque diva number with p!nk and kelly.
Josh: and other people with like
Enrico: Taylor Swift!
Josh: that would be fun. who else?!
Enrico: Leona Naess???
Josh: they need a rapper. lil mama!
Enrico: Lady Gaga. She raps when she says she's 'bluffin with her muffin.'
Enrico: LEA MICHELE?? yes!
Josh: but she gets the mya verse, aka the first one no one rememberz
Enrico: I love Mya's verse...
Enrico: OH! our collab needs to have Keri Hilson in it, aka the only urban musician I like right now
Josh: can jhud just belt in the backgroun for literally no reason
Enrico: yeah! and Stevie Nicks can play bass a la "Bootylicious"
Enrico: oh and make room for Tina Chen too!
Josh: which rappers can do remixes?!
Josh: hahaha. not even missy>!
Enrico: NO. she's so 2000 and late
Josh: tanx fergz. v. carlton can have a piano solo. once again unnecessary and for no reason
Josh: AND SYESHA CAN DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enrico: YES! sit on TOP of V.Carlton's piano!!! in a red dress obvz
Josh: YES they should all be doing a cover of one rock 'n' roll too many!@ that can be the song!@!@!
Enrico: oh and did I mention that Tatiana DelToro will somehow include a line from "Saving All My Love"? mash-up!
Josh: OF COURSE. lovez her. i wanted megan joy to do something too, even if it doesnt make sense
Enrico: like sit in the back corner and move her arms like a bird again? aka backup dancer
Josh: yes and sqwuack of course
Josh: and pcd can dance (not sing) during the video
Enrico: NO WAY! I hate PCD. worst group of all time. I'm cutting them! Sorry, they went over the budget
Josh: booo. oh ok. who is the big xtina star?! that has the climax of the song?
Enrico: OH YEAH! Bjork gets the diva part where she screams a la all her music. except she'd be doing "Desired Constellation" of course, screaming "HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE IT RIGHT?!!?" while the others sing a Broadway song
Josh: i really love dis idea. a lot. this is my favorite song ever. we're such good producerz.
Aren't we? I think the only thing we forget was some Christmas magic.