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Friday, May 29, 2009

2010 Best Pop Collaboration With Vocalz

Yesterday afternoon, the two smartest people when it comes to pop music (aka, me and my friend Josh) were complaining about how dumb America is and then managed to dream up the most PERFECT collaboration evz. Here's how it went down.

Enrico: WHY DID "I DO NOT HOOK UP" PEAK AT 23?? stupid America
Josh: UG. i thought it would do better
Enrico: and now its 32, aka never gonna get higher
Josh: exacterz. "please don't leave me" better get its butt outta the 40s and go higher
Enrico: but it just dropped from 40 to 41
Josh: NO. ug. so mad. i hate america for not loving kelly and p!nk
Enrico: yeah, America is like "Kelly? Pink? Lame!" and Flo Rida's SINGLE went three times platinum X |
Josh: ug. DUMB. they need to do another lady marmalade esque diva number with p!nk and kelly.
Enrico: YES!

Josh: and other people with like
Enrico: Taylor Swift!

Josh: that would be fun. who else?!
Enrico: Leona Naess???

Josh: they need a rapper. lil mama!

Enrico: Lady Gaga. She raps when she says she's 'bluffin with her muffin.'

Enrico: LEA MICHELE?? yes!
Josh: but she gets the mya verse, aka the first one no one rememberz
Enrico: I love Mya's verse...

Enrico: OH! our collab needs to have Keri Hilson in it, aka the only urban musician I like right now

Josh: can jhud just belt in the backgroun for literally no reason

Enrico: yeah! and Stevie Nicks can play bass a la "Bootylicious"

Enrico: oh and make room for Tina Chen too!

Josh: which rappers can do remixes?!
Enrico: none!
Josh: hahaha. not even missy>!
Enrico: NO. she's so 2000 and late
Josh: tanx fergz. v. carlton can have a piano solo. once again unnecessary and for no reason

Josh: AND SYESHA CAN DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enrico: YES! sit on TOP of V.Carlton's piano!!! in a red dress obvz
Josh: YES they should all be doing a cover of one rock 'n' roll too many!@ that can be the song!@!@!

Enrico: oh and did I mention that Tatiana DelToro will somehow include a line from "Saving All My Love"? mash-up!

Josh: OF COURSE. lovez her. i wanted megan joy to do something too, even if it doesnt make sense
Enrico: like sit in the back corner and move her arms like a bird again? aka backup dancer
Josh: yes and sqwuack of course

Josh: and pcd can dance (not sing) during the video
Enrico: NO WAY! I hate PCD. worst group of all time. I'm cutting them! Sorry, they went over the budget
Josh: booo. oh ok. who is the big xtina star?! that has the climax of the song?
Enrico: OH YEAH! Bjork gets the diva part where she screams a la all her music. except she'd be doing "Desired Constellation" of course, screaming "HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE IT RIGHT?!!?" while the others sing a Broadway song

Josh: i really love dis idea. a lot. this is my favorite song ever. we're such good producerz.

Aren't we? I think the only thing we forget was some Christmas magic.


that's J-O-S-H said...

This is the greatest thing in the entire world eva. We are really smart [and attractive] and should already have a Grammy, VMA, millions of dollas, celeb friends and a triple platinum plaque from the record execs.

We rule...but durh we knew that.

And Christmas Magic! I'm so sad we forgot it. A terrifying [probably child molesting] old man in a snowman/reindeer outfit and Ali Lohan's [feat. background singaz] outta tune vocals are really what would have been the icing on an already derricious cake. Next time...

Nathan V. said...

HA! This would be crazy! How long would the song be? would most people sing together in a chorus, or does everyone get a solo?

This is insanity.

Michelle M. said...

Oh yeah, I would buy this.

Bill TrĂ¼b said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tam said...

You guys are kwazy. We are disappointed that Pink is not coming to play here or Montreal. No PCD, please, not even as dancers.

that's J-O-S-H said...

I'm seeing P!nk October 5th in Nueva York! <3 <3 <3

hoteltuesday said...

Nathan V. - It'd be normal length, since not everyone sings something, i.e. JHud just belting, V. Carlton on piano, Megan awkwardly dancing, etc.

Michelle - Of course you would. You are a human after all.

Bill - Ah. Nelly. We did forget her (which is not as big a deal as forgetting Christmas Magic).

Tam - Exactly. No PCD, ever, in any capacity. I was SO disappointed when they opened for Brit.

Josh - If she does a meet and greet (like James Morrison did) then pitch the idea to her peepz.