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Friday, September 26, 2008

Introduction to Creative Writing

This semester I am taking my first creative writing class at The College of New Jersey.

I've always been interested in creative writing and have been writing stuff for many years. Instead of sharing a piece of my (bad) writing with everyone, I thought I'd update about what happened yesterday...

I went to my teacher's office to discuss my latest assignment. For the assignment, we had to write about "solitude and understanding the mystery of life."
Naturally, I wrote about an overweight girl dancing in the middle of the street.

He called me to his office and I have illustrated the events of this meeting...





SO my tragic story about Cvalda dancing in the middle of the street until the sun goes down now looks like this.


And it's probably better now.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Let's Get Physical

This morning I had to get a physical.

At 9:30AM I went to Health Services (which is located in the dining hall oddly enough) and got this sheet I had to fill out with basic stuff.

I had to check off if I had any medical conditions from this LOOONG list. Sadly, the pic of the list didn't come out clearly. But they had stuff on there like "Bug Bite" and "Erectile Dysfunction" and even"Sexual Abuse" which I didn't know was a medical condition.


While I was waiting, I decided to do some light reading on a subject I hold close to my heart.


A lot of the pamphlets were actually pretty interesting. I loved the choice of models for this pamphlet.


Hmmm.... so I guess black guys dating white girls seem to have a problem with methods of birth control....

Once I finished reading pamphlets, I read over what they would be checking for today. All seemed pretty normal.


Mouth... Thyroid... Lymph Nodes... Skin... etc... Extremities... Genitalia... Ref-
WAIT! Genitalia?!

Then I made a face sort of like the guy on the "Headache" pamphlet.


So the doctor called me in.

First, she was like "How tall are you?!" And I said "I think 5'7"?"
She measured me and was like, "Yeah.... wishful thinking. 5'6"..."
Then she asked for my weight and I said 110 lbs and that was right.

So then we did an eye test.
I could read about none of the lines, including the first, with my right eye. The chart looked like this:


The doctor asked me how I go about life with such sucky vision. She said I have 20/50 vision.

Finally we went inside the room for the actually physical.
Her first problem came when she said my heartbeat was too fast. I told her I get nervous around pretty ladies.

Finally, she said, "Have you had a testicular exam?"
I told her no and she said, "Lower your shorts."

SOOOO that was fine.

Since blogging is important, I asked the nurse to take a pic and she was good and left out inappropriate parts...


So she said my genitalia were perfect (seriously, she used those words) and then I was free to go! So it wasn't that bad I guess. I mean, I don't like people seeing my junk if they're not gonna marry me, but I guess if it's for medical reasons it's ok.

As I was leaving the office, I decided to be a good samaritan and help out that confused interracial couple by doing a little rearranging amongst the pamphlets...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Taking All Of My Energy

I can not stop listening to "Energy" by Keri Hilson.

She's the girl who wrote "Gimme More" for Britney Spears and now she has her own song (and awesome video) and I am addicted.

Monday, September 08, 2008

The Search For A Superstar

A few weeks ago I went to American Idol auditions with my friend Shanique!
Here's how they REALLY go.

So we had to go Sunday morning at 5 am in order to register. The stadium was pretty big but we found our way thanks to these amazing, creative signs.


It took several hours to get to the stadium, and all we did was walk up to a man, get a wristband, and leave.

And we read this sign carefully:


That basically gives them the right to embarrass you on TV.

We came back Monday morning at 5 to wait for the actually auditions!
There were sooo many people there! I even ran into my friend Ryan. Ryan and I hung out a few days before AI auditions and I knew he'd be there, but I didn't think I'd actually run into him!


I'm not really fond of standing (resembles exercise in a way) so this was the view of the crowd I had from my position.


Luckily there weren't many weirdos in the crowd. And yes, I mean LUCKILY. Let me set the record straight.... Bad singers may be funny to SOME people, but it's really aggravating to be at auditions and see the judges take someone "funny" over somebody with real talent just for ratings. Really, it's not cool.

So anyway, after a billion years of waiting, we all went into the stadium. On our way into the stadium, Shanique and I had to split up. Shanique followed this sign.


I went the other way, to American Idol Gay. There, the producers told us that it was really important to say that we're straight if we want fans. This is apparently the path that Clay Aiken and David Archuleta took.
They told us that if it comes out that we are gay, know gay people, danced at gay clubs, or own all of Madonna's CDs, we would be mysteriously kicked off first (i.e. David Hernandez).

So I was eventually reunited with Shanique in the stadium.


It was pretty packed.
After everyone was in, they made us sing "Get Ready" by The Temptations and "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar TEN THOUSAND TIMES! I counted! They had to get perfect shots for the segment of the show when the studio is filled with poor unfortunate souls singing the same song. But just from watching, you'd never know that they sing the song over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

Then Jordin Sparks came out to wish us luck!


She seemed nice.
I hated her at the VMAs last night though when she said that if you don't wear a promise ring you are a filthy slut. That made tons of sense.

So she peaced and then they set up the judging tables. In the end, they looked like this:


There are 12 (13?) tables set up with two judges at each table. In fours, you go up to the table and sing a few seconds of a song. The judges then decide if you make it through round one. If you do, you go in the backstage area and perform for another set of judges. If you make it through THAT round, you come back like two days later to audition for Randy, Simon, Paula, and of course Kara DioGuardi.

I didn't audition. My friend Shanique did though! And she didn't get past round one.
But it was still cool!

And yeah, Ryan Seacrest was there.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

For TJ

I'M BACK!
And I brought my family with me!

So a few days ago (meaning about a month ago), I went to Olive Garden with much of my immediate family to celebrate the birthdays of my brother Pasquale (August 7th) and my sister Gabriella (August 6th). Here I am at Olive Garden, looking pretty bad.


Speaking of sibling birthdays.... My sister Talita was born December 13th and I was born December 14th, so yeah, my family has an amazing birthday coincidence going on (Aug 6, Aug 7, Dec 13, Dec 14).

Anyway, here is said sister with her boyfriend Ray!


They met on eHarmony in 2005. No one really thought it would work out, but they're pretty much proof that online dating works.

My mom was there too and she was pretty scared that I would put up a picture of her where half her face is melted away, so I'll put up the other, less interesting picture where her face is intact.


My sister Gabriella (we call her Gabi) brought her son, Anthony! He wrote curse words all over the menus with crayons. My sister Talita (aka TJ) helped him with his spelling.


The birthday boy Pasquale was there with his girlfriend Shanique (you might remember him from my favorite-and most underappreciated-post ever...)


I've been friends with Shanique since 4th grade. She started dating my brother in 9th grade. It was kinda weird at first, but now everything is fine.

The birthday girl Gabi was there with her boyfriend Aubrey.


Unlike Ray and TJ, they met the normal way: in a bar.
And yes, my family supports interracial relationships.

Here's a bonus pic of me and Gabi.


Did I mention it was Pasquale's 21st birthday.


BOOOOO ALCOHOL!!!

So after dinner we all left OG (Olive Garden) and made our way back to OG (Ocean Grove).
But first, I noticed something in the sky!

How sweet. It symbolized that the birthday boy/girl would have a great year or something.
And it was even prettier than the rainbow on the back of the family car.


So we went home and had cake. Even though it wasn't Anthony's birthday, he got to help blow out the candles.


Anthony can be a handful but he's cute sometimes.


And at least he smiles hard for pictures. Must have got that from my sister TJ....


Sorry I was gone for so long! College keeps me busy....
I'll update with my dorm room and stuff soon!