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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Let's Get Physical

This morning I had to get a physical.

At 9:30AM I went to Health Services (which is located in the dining hall oddly enough) and got this sheet I had to fill out with basic stuff.

I had to check off if I had any medical conditions from this LOOONG list. Sadly, the pic of the list didn't come out clearly. But they had stuff on there like "Bug Bite" and "Erectile Dysfunction" and even"Sexual Abuse" which I didn't know was a medical condition.

While I was waiting, I decided to do some light reading on a subject I hold close to my heart.

A lot of the pamphlets were actually pretty interesting. I loved the choice of models for this pamphlet.

Hmmm.... so I guess black guys dating white girls seem to have a problem with methods of birth control....

Once I finished reading pamphlets, I read over what they would be checking for today. All seemed pretty normal.

Mouth... Thyroid... Lymph Nodes... Skin... etc... Extremities... Genitalia... Ref-
WAIT! Genitalia?!

Then I made a face sort of like the guy on the "Headache" pamphlet.

So the doctor called me in.

First, she was like "How tall are you?!" And I said "I think 5'7"?"
She measured me and was like, "Yeah.... wishful thinking. 5'6"..."
Then she asked for my weight and I said 110 lbs and that was right.

So then we did an eye test.
I could read about none of the lines, including the first, with my right eye. The chart looked like this:

The doctor asked me how I go about life with such sucky vision. She said I have 20/50 vision.

Finally we went inside the room for the actually physical.
Her first problem came when she said my heartbeat was too fast. I told her I get nervous around pretty ladies.

Finally, she said, "Have you had a testicular exam?"
I told her no and she said, "Lower your shorts."

SOOOO that was fine.

Since blogging is important, I asked the nurse to take a pic and she was good and left out inappropriate parts...

So she said my genitalia were perfect (seriously, she used those words) and then I was free to go! So it wasn't that bad I guess. I mean, I don't like people seeing my junk if they're not gonna marry me, but I guess if it's for medical reasons it's ok.

As I was leaving the office, I decided to be a good samaritan and help out that confused interracial couple by doing a little rearranging amongst the pamphlets...


john said...

It's always a little disturbing when someone is handling your junk in a clinical manner. But, better than what the ladies have to go through.

Good to know you are healthy. I'm surprised the nurse was willing to part with her photo.

hoteltuesday said...

Yeah, I didn't really think about what ladies have to go through... Good point. And ... nevermind. TMI.

And yeah, she actually sent me a copy in my e-mail. So she still has the original, probably as her desktop background or something.

john said...

I see your TMI and respect it.

As for the nurse, can you blame her?

Tam said...

As a "lady", I once had a Dr. (female) tell me my cervix look "really nice". Ummm, gee, thanks I guess. How does one respond to that? In the position that would allow a Dr. to see it? Needless to say it hasn't happened again, thank god. Funny post. I need to stop by more often.