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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

No Boundariez: If We Were A Movie

See part 1 here.

After weeks minutes of discussing Joshrico’s impending fame, manager Michelle contacted her favorite clients with a new research assignment.

So Enrico rolled out of bed and ate 15 bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch so he’d have energy for hob-knobbing with all the celebrities he would undoubtedly become good friends with. Then he hopped on a plane to NYC with a dream and his cardigan. 

After hours of crying and harassing strangers, Enrico finally learned how to ride the subway and arrived at the movie premiere to rendezvous with Michelle’s movie industry insider, Senor F Dot.

Senor F Dot gave Enrico a ticket to see the Oscar-nominated movie event of the decade, Drag Me To Hell, Precious. Enrico ran to the red carpet and got ready to meet his future BFFs, Gabourey Sidibe, MC, Mo'Nique and Joanne.

Meanwhile, Josh attended as many auditions as he could for bit roles. But after being rejected in bit roles in such scripted television shows as Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, and The Hills, he walked home defeated. While he wallowed in sweet misery, contemplating summer twilights that took forevz to get rid of and the fact that in another country, peepz die, he thought about his life. But before he could make it back to his casa [read as: cardboard box on the street corner] and drown himself in tear-laced mac'n'cheese (feat. tuna), he saw something interesting....

Josh approached the bulletin board and amid the various fliers for dog walkers, demonbabysitters, and d.i.n.o.s.a.u.r eyelids (?!), he saw his big chance.

Meanwhile, Enrico eagerly awaited the arrival of the limousine that would spew forth his new friends who would get him casted in a role he'd have to 'go ugly for' [aka don't wear make-up a la Mariah or get fat(ter) a la J-Hud], immediately launching him into superstardom. There, he would impress the world with his ability to collect awards despite being under-qualified (see Sandra Butthole Bullock).

Finally, a limo pulled up and out came....

GABOUREY SIDIBE (NOT feat. buckets o' chicken)! Enrico was only a few feet away from one of Hollywood's greatest new actresses! He knew it was his chance to start networking! He started barfing out quotes from the film, hoping to impress Ms. Sidibe. When that didn't work, he began promising her that he'd get her a spot in "one of dem B.E.T. videos."

Unfortunately, the security guards were not as keen on the idea of Gabby and Enrico being BFFs and he was escorted from the red carpet before he could slip Gabby his number....

But he still got to watch the movie. During the screening, he tried to get the attention of the star-studded cast sitting only rows in front of him by throwing his shoes at their heads and barking at them, but when the security guards gave him unfriendly death stares, he quieted down.

After the movie, the cast came onstage to feign gratitude graciously thank everyone...

And Enrico could swear he saw Gabby looking at him.....

Enrico left the theatre without making any connections. But at least he saw a great film and got to watch the movie with some of his favorite celebs in the same room!

He walked to Penn Station feeling only a little sad when all of a sudden boiz starting blowing up his phone (phone). Well actually, it was only one boy. After the excited screaming monster on the other end calmed down enough, he gave Enrico the good news...


Special thanks to FDot for being our connection to the movie industry and getting me into the premiere!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Ghosts in the Attic: Polymorphism

Even though there are many advantages to being a human, I sometimes wonder how life would be if I were a different animal.

If I were a monkey... my rain forest home would probably be knocked down and I'd die...
If I were a duck... my lake would probably be polluted and I'd die...
If I were a deer... my forest would probably become a highway and I'd get run down by a crazy motorist who beeps his horn at me like it's my fault he's speeding...

Luckily, first grader Enrico didn't want to be any of those animals. Instead, he opted to be an animal that could hide away from the horrors of the world...

Entry dated May 7th, 1996

What animal would I
like to be. I would
like to be a turtle
be cause it is little
ny favite color and
can hide very good.

Aww! I remember when my favo animal was a turtle (this coveted spot was later taken by monkeys--green is still my favorite color).
But the part I find most fascinating about this entry is how my young self wished to be little so he could hide away... I guess that related to the fact that I was very shy as a child and never talked... How things have changed!

Oh, and are you absolutely terrified by that picture I drew? That turtle's head creeps me out!

Question Time!
If you could be an animal, which animal would you be?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Let It Stop, Let It Stop, Let It Stop

Hey y'all. Since I have nothing else to blog about, here's a story that will shock you: I actually worked out physically exerted myself!

As anyone living in the tri-state area knows, Demeter has been missing Persephone extra hard this year and turning my state/life into a winter wasteland. I live in a house with five strapping men, so when it snows, I lie in bed and pretend I'm busy while hoping the other peepz will shovel. But this past week we got prox. 41 feet of snow, so I had to help.

So I went outside with my housemate Eric Dane and we broke our backs shoveling snow and ice.

I let Mr. Dane do all the heavy lifting of course.

When it first started snowing, my housemates got excited and decided to build a snow structure in the backyard [read as: giant p33n].

Unfortunately, the snow turned to ice overnight and the structure was incredibly hard the next morning. In order to knock it down, I had to beat it with a shovel.

This took so many hours and my back still hurts! And then a few days ago, I crashed into this huge snowback and was SURE my car was smashed to pieces. But somehow my car is fine. BUT STILL, this snow needs to go away, fast.

Friday, February 12, 2010

12 of 12 - February 2010

Are you guys SUPER EXCITED for the MOST INTERESTING 12 for 12 you've EVER SEEN!?
(Thanks to Polt and David for reminding me!)

So my day started with a nightmare. I woke up at 4am after having a terrifying dream that prevented me from falling back asleep for a mad long time (prox. 3 minutes). The weird thing is, I've been having nightmares for like a week now! Weird. Guess this piece of crap fine example of superior craftsmanship that I actually made myself doesn't work....

So after being scared to death, I went back to sleep and woke up and did my math homework. FUN!

Then, I worked on my paper for HOURS AND HOURS.

My paper was due at midnight so I basically worked on it all day when I wasn't doing something less important, like eating and sleeping. I wrote about the use of the carnivalesque and grotesque realism in the work of Giambattista Basile and you guys have no idea what I'm talking about! Yay! Here are the books I used....

Lit theory, Il Cunto de li Cunti and an MLA book. What a fun day!

I took a break from writing my paper to go to class. First I had my fairy tale class in Bliss Hall, where all the cool kids (Josh y yo) hang out.

Then I went to math class in the science complex, where boring, unfriendly nerds hang out.

I went back to my car to head home and discovered that someone poured water on my car while I was at class, then turned the water into icicles.

I then went home and worked on my paper for another three hours. Some of my BFs Delisa and Dana came over and we went to ShopRite to buy some groceries so we could make dinner. BREAKING NEWS: Cheez-Its and Ho-Hos are now considered vegetables.

We came home with some scared animal shivering in a cage. We let it loose then started attacking it with clubs. Once it was defeated, we threw it on the frying pan. YUM.

Animal cruelty tastes delicious!

We all sat on the sofa and watched the Olympics (feat. JONI MITCHELL!!!). My spot is empty cause I'm taking the (out of focus) picture.

Then we made dessert.

Then I worked on my paper for another four hours and sent it in, then I started blogging but got so tired that I

Monday, February 08, 2010

Sick Of All The Noise

Although I pretty much never get angry, I do get annoyed easily. My list of pet peeves far exceeds the length V. Carlton would walk to just see/hold you. So since it’s Monday, I’ll discuss my musical pet peeves (in both songs and music videos)!


I’ve gotten a little bit less annoyed at this, but I used to HATE when singers would laugh in their songs. I’m not even sure why it bothers me though… Lots of my favorite singers do it, like Michelle Branch, P!nk, Avril, Ke$ha, Kelly Clarkson, Taylor Swift, etc. But I guess one reason I don’t like it is because I prefer crying over laughing (or sad music over happy music). I also feel like it just comes across as corny. You’re supposed to believe (I think) that the artist naturally let out a laugh while recording in the studio, but it seems fake to me.

[See: “Hey Stephen” by T. Swift, “You Get Me” by Michelle Branch]


I only hate talking in some songs. I don't mind when P!nk quickly snaps "You're going home alone, aren't you?" before her chorus ONCE. But I get annoyed when a song is carried by talking and not in a clever way. For example, although I lurve me some Ke$ha lately, "Tik Tok" is one of my least favorite songs of hers because she talks too much (she sings on the rest of the record). I also always hated Shania Twain's "That Don't Impress Me Much" because of the part before the chorus when she says something that is supposed to be funny ("OK, so you're a rocket scientist"). ANNOYING.
[See: "Watching the Rain" by Katy Rose]


I never understood this. A singer (usually who isn’t that good) sings the verse of the song, but when the chorus comes on, you hear some random women singing. I always assume that the volume levels were not done correctly since MAYBE the real singer is in there somewhere, but come on, these people often pay big $$$ for producers and mixers, etc., who should know how to make sure the singer is heard on his/her own chorus! If you aren’t aware of this strange phenomenom,

[See: “Christmas Magic” by Ali Lohan, almost every song by J Lo]


As for music videos….


Yes, I’m looking at you, Lindsay Lohan! I hate when the music suddenly stops (or is decreased in volume) in music videos so that some peepz can have a convo I don’t care about. Unless it’s specifically being a long-form video (so that it has a better chance at winning a Grammy), find a creative way to tell a story without dimming the music.
 (P.S. I couldn't find a pic that made sense for this topic, so I just used my favorite pic of the Lohan sisters!)
[See: “Confessions of a Broken Heart” by Lindsay Lohan]


Did you ever get an e-mail notification that your favorite music artist uploaded a new video to YouTube? You eagerly click on the link hoping the video will feature guest appearances, sweet dancing, an exciting plot, NOT random talking, etc. But then the video is just a montage of live performances even though the CD version of the track is playing… annoying! I understand that maybe this is the cheaper route, but it’s also boring and played out. 

[See: “All at Once” by The Fray]

What are some of your musical pet peeves??

Friday, February 05, 2010

No Boundariez: Let The Flames Begin

There are some peeps who don’t deserve the fame that they revel in (Lady GaGa, Ne-Yo, Barbra Streisand) while others never see the fame that they deserve (Vanessa Carlton, Ali Lohan, Rhonetta). It’s been scientifically proven that Josh and Enrico fall into this second category. They have charisma, cutting wit, blindingly good looks, and talents that put Jordin Sparks to shame. Yet somehow, they’ve remained under the pop culture radar for 23/21 years. Well that is all about to change. They’re taking their destinies by the throat, eye, and knucklebone.

A few months ago, after watching their favorite horror movie, Josh and Enrico realized that if they didn’t get famous soon, their pathetic lives would be dragged to hell (not in a good way).

So the two soon-to-be starlets put on their thinking caps and made a list of the prerequisites of becoming a superstar.

As Enrico learned from Paris, you can never wear the same thing twice! Since the local Dolce & Gabbana, Prada and Gucci were closed, Enrico headed to the hub of the fashion world in Ewing, NJ.

They decided to learn the ways of fame and fortune from some experts, so they bought two critically-acclaimed books from Nobel Peace Prize finalists.

Josh practiced writing his autograph for his (at the moment) only adoring fans.

Enrico took some pointers from his favorite starlets and learned how to properly exit a vehicle.

And Josh learned how to go out in public and shield himself from the venomous lens of the stalkarazzi.

After a long day of hard work, Josh and Enrico checked to see if they were famous yet….

But when nary a shot of their gorgeous mugs blessed the world wide web, they realized what they had been missing all along.

So they called their favorite person in el mundo to see if she would be willing to take on the glamorous, yet exhausting job of being manager to the world’s hottest rising stars.