Not Betty!

LOL!
That's exactly how I felt when I found out
:(

Ghosts in the Attic: Take It Off

When I was younger, I actually used to see my extended family. Now, I see my siblings and my mother for a few months out of the year and never, ever see my extended family. I have cousins and aunts/uncles who I used to see all the time that I haven't seen in years.
Anyway, in this entry of Ghosts in the Attic, I discuss hanging out with some cousins and the VERY interesting games we played....

On Saturday and Sunday I wen't
to my cusin's house. I
played nintendo.
I played Aladin
and zombys ate
my nabor's.

See, I was in 1st grade and already loyal to Nintendo! Since my days playing Aladdin and Zombies Ate My Neighbors (the best SNES game ever!) I've managed to collect just about every Nintendo console and handheld system and am somewhat of a Nintendo fanboy. But my childhood days were not only spent playing video games. Apparently I got some exercise as well?!?

I watched T.V.
and played soccer.
I had fun at
my cusin's house.

Although I don't watch much TV now, I can see myself watching Are You Afraid of the Dark when I was in first grade. But playing soccer/exercising on my own free will?! I don't remember this. And now readers, get ready for the MOST AWESOME game I ever played at my cusin's house:

I played games
on a pole in the
dark and in the
geroge.

Is a comment even necessary here?

Get A Bit Classy

I’m alive! I know I haven’t posted in almost a week, but the Spring 2010 semester has officially begun, and so has my new internship (yay!). So being a full-time student with two jobs will undoubtedly result in less frequent posting.

So since my classes will be taking up most of my time, I figured I’d talk about my classes a little so that y’all know what I’m spending my time doing and can then behave with an appropriate amount of jealousy or something.

M/Th at 8:30am – Astronomy

All I know about this class is that it involves studying stars. So this will probably be my favorite class! And on Mondays from 10-12, we get to do a lab. I’m assuming this will involve Botox, lipo, lectures from Mariah’s retouchers, etc.

M/Th at 2pm – Writer’s Workshop

At the end of my freshman year, I decided to add a creative writing minor. Writer’s Workshop is the final course in the minor. This course is geared toward creating one long piece rather than many short ones (like the other creative writing courses). Students are encouraged to write either a novel or novella, or a cohesive book of poems or short stories. I started a story in my Fiction Workshop class last spring and think that I will be working mostly on expanding that story. I have twenty pages of it so far, but the page requirement for fiction is 75-100, so I have a lot more to add. I wish I was brave enough to try to write a cohesive book of poetry, but my poems usually aren’t related thematically or even stylistically at times.

This is the FOURTH class I’ve taken with the same professor. I think that’s cool because he saw the work I submitted in Intro to Creative Writing and Fiction Workshop, so he’s seen the progress I hope I’ve been making.

T/F at 2pm – From the Renaissance to the Postmodern: The Fairy Tale Tradition

Often referred to as “my fairy tale” class, this course is the capstone to my major. (Yay! Two capstones in one semester!) I actually signed up to take a different capstone but that one was canceled and my class was dropped into this one. When I found out, I shed a flood of hot tears, but now that I’ve had a few homework assignments from this class, I am so glad I got switched into it.

In this class, we read and analyze fairy tales, starting with the Father of the Fairy Tale (Straparola, 1550s) and ending with contemporary retellings of the tales. On the first day of class, my professor told us to ignore what we thought we knew about fairy tales—they are not for children, do not need to have a moral (that’s a fable), do not always have happy endings, and are not primarily an oral tradition but a literary one. She then called Disney, “the D word” and encouraged us to use it only sparingly in class.

So I’ve started reading the fairy tales and they are HILARIOUS. I love:
- the extremely dramatic way characters deal with grief (“[The nurses] found them both lying dead. Immediately they began to scream and to shed a flood of tears. They tore their hair and their garments and laid their breasts bare.”)
- the terrible displays of ‘pity’ or ‘compassion,’ (“But when they saw how lovely and gracious she was, they were moved to pity and decided not to murder her. But they cut off both her hands from her body and tore her eyes out of her head.”)
- the scolding of angry mothers (“Stop it, and get out of my sight! Go break your neck somewhere! Take off. You’ve ripped apart my guts, and I can’t stand you anymore. My hernia swells up, and my goiter grows each time you appear. Stop coming here. From now on this house is like fire for you. I wash my hands of you and consider that I never spewed you forth into this world.”)
- the general funny descriptions (“He rubbed his eyes with his hands and stretched his arms for half an hour with sixty yawns and farts in the form of a dialogue.”)

Never has my homework made me LOL like these fairy tales do. I am definitely reading these stories to my kids! [Oh, and btw, my BFFL Josh took this class when he was in school!)

T/F at 4pm – Applied Liberal Arts Mathematics

Ugh, sick! This class is called “Applied Liberal Arts Math” which means “Math for Dummies.” It’s required that I take one math course, so I chose this easy one. So far, we’ve learned two methods of splitting your assets when you get divorced or separated (unlike Brangelina, who are staying together! LIARS!) or want to fight over inheritance. ZzZzZzZz….

So what classes are y’all taking this semester?!?!

Every Morning, Every Evening

Now that we've gone though colors and names, let's get to days of the week!

In this week's Monday Music Moment, I will discuss some of my favorite songs that feat. days of the week in the song title!

Monday
"Monday Morning" by Fleetwood Mac
"Monday Morning" kicks off Fleetwood Mac's (second) self-titled album. And the song gets right to the point: "Monday morning you sure look fine / Friday I got traveling on my mind." Besides my Monday Music Moment and Josh's Monday Muse, what do people like about Monday?! Oh yeah, nothing. So this song kicks off my list because it is honest and a little bit reflective. Even though it turns into a love song a few lines in, the first few lines always stick out to me and I can almost relate to them. And I say "almost" because I got traveling on my mind on Tuesday, not Friday.

Other Monday Songs: "Monday Morning" by Maria Mena, "Monday, Monday" by The Mamas & the Papas

Tuesday
"Tuesday Morning" by Michelle Branch
Anyone who was friends with me in 8th grade will not be surprised by my Tuesday song choice, "Tuesday Morning" by V. Carlton Michelle Branch. This track is featured on Michelle's third CD, Hotel Paper. And in case you forgot, it's the song that inspired my blog's name! In this track, Mrs. Branch sings about all the stuff I like: stormy weather, being alone, darkness, etc. The song is sung to a loved one (or a one-night-stand) after a night of romance and passion. This song features some of my favorite lyrics, like: "I took your picture while you were sleeping / and then I paced around the room. / If I had known then that these things happen / Would they have happened with you?" So nice! Not only do I find this song to be mad heartfelt and beautifully written, but I love the way M. Branch sings her. Her "oh, oh, oh, ohs" at the end are my favorite!

Other Tuesday Songs: Umm.... none?

(Where are the Wednesday and Thursday tracks?!)

Friday
"Friday I'll Be Over U" by Allison Iraheta
Everyone needs to stop hating on Allison Iraheta! She may have been a lot little boring when she was on American Idol, but personality isn't everything!! Know what's more important than personality? Max Martin producing your first single and sounding like P!nk. And Allison managed both these feats with her first single, "Friday I'll Be Over U." In this song, Allison screams about some dude that made her forget herself by cheating on her or something, so she's gonna forget about him by Friday, which is interesting since the narrative present of the song is in fact Thursday. But if Allie can forget someone in less than one day, than more power to her! The song is catchy, the video is sorta cute, and I wish Allison got more fame cause her CD is pretty decent!

Other Friday Songs: "Friday" by Daniel Bedingfield (which I always hear playing in T.G.I. Friday's)

Sunday
"Sunday Drive" by The Early November
I've been a fan of The Early November for years now and have seen the lead singer Ace Enders live prox. 7 times. Since "Sunday Drive" is the first TEN song I ever heard, it holds a special place in my black heart. "Sunday Drive" is slow and sad, so obviously I love it! The song is about a drive (presumably on Sunday) that appears to signal the end of a relationship. As the two ex-lovers are driving about, the speaker says sad things like, "You know it's not so easy when you're all alone" and my favorite line, "What could you be doing that is so much fun / without me by your side?" After I heard this wonderfully depressing song, I found more TEN CDs and got obsessed and started stalking the lead singer seeing the lead singer in concert... a lot!

Other Sunday Songs: "Heavy Like Sunday" by Leona Naess, "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5

So did I miss any?!? And why are so many songs called "(Day of the Week) Morning"?!

PRJNCT: Final Runway Show Results

The moment you have all been waiting for (since August 2009) is finally here! It's time to unveil the winner of Project Runway: JNCT! This time, I tried to make the post spoiler-free so that you can't just scroll down and see the winner. So make sure you click on the picture links!

In the thrilling finale, the final three designers Adam, Enrico and Michelle M. sent their final collections down the runway, where prox 1,000 years later, the judges finally sent in their votes. In order to hear the results, the (1, 2) 3 finalists joined together in a conference call with the producers.

Well, Michelle was supposed to be on the phone, but for some reason Malaria answered and said that Michelle was "not available"....

Anyway, here is what the judges had to say.

Collection #1 - Judges thought that collection 1 was fun and flirty. The looks were very marketable and could easily be found in (the clearance rack of) Target. And some judges applauded the bravery of the designer in sending a bathing suit down the runway. However, some judges had a problem with how accessible the line was; they thought the collection looked cheap and homemade, not like pieces of high fashion. While the construction wasn't poor, the pieces did look somewhat sloppy and unfinished compared to the other collections. And while few judged complained about the bathing suit, one judge thought the other two designs didn't hold up the standards expected in the final collection: "The pattern on the fabric used for the skirt in the first look should never be used for anything but the inside of something, if ever. Plus the top is boring. And the third look uses the same dumb fabric and a similarly boring top." Angry judge called this collection "gross."
Mom says:
1st piece: I like it
2nd piece: I don't like it
3rd piece: I don't like it.

Collection #2 - Judges thought that Malaria's designer continued to make flawlessly constructed looks in their final collection. The outfits were impeccably made and fit the model perfectly, accentuating her curves while masking her troubling life off the runway and making Malaria look presentable. The first look received mostly positive reviews and was called colorful and fun, though some judges thought it was too simple. The second look was seen as the weakest of the collection, as it was called matronly and unflattering for the young model. One judge said questioned the appearance of white pants while one judge called the look "MAD PLAIN" and thought it was something that only "a sixteen year old trying to get into The Roxxy would wear." The third dress garnered the most comments. Some judges loved the flamenco-inspired dress, calling it the standout piece in the entire runway show. Judges loved the color, the fit, and the hair accessory on this fun and attention-grabbing design. However, one opposed judge thought the dress would only be worn by a woman going through a midlife crisis.
Mom says:
1st piece: Se parece como un chorizo mal amarado. (It looks like a badly-tied sausage.)
2nd piece: I don't like it.
3rd piece: I don't like it. It looks like a banana peel. The naked men look better. I like their butts.

Collection #3 - The designs that Clifford wore down the runway were called clean, fresh and chic. The color scheme was soothing and appealing; the third dress being black and white made the look stand out even more and prevented the collection from being one-note in terms of color, unlike the other collections. Judges seemed unsure of the first look, which was called "a little weird" by one judge. While the look was nice for going to the office, some judges questioned whether it fit the theme or the other designs in the collection. The second look was called simple, elegant and marketable. The cut was interesting and accentuated the model nicely. However, some judges thought the construction could have been a little cleaner. Like collection 2, the third look was seen as the strongest look. The dress was chic and the carefully cut out pattern looked great at the top of the dress. The designer took a risk with this busy pattern, but it paid off thanks to the construction and shape.
Mom says:
1st piece: I don't like it. It looks unfinished, sloppy. I don't like what's wrapped around her neck; it looks like a piece of scrap wrapped around her neck.
2nd piece: Pretty
3rd piece: Pretty on top but not on the bottom. Not even.

The contestants nervously awaited their fate....

And the first eliminated contestant... coming in at THIRD place, was...

THIS PERSON!

Congrats on your long run contestant! You sent some decent looks down the runway and will receive your 3rd place prize shortly: sympathetic comments from Hotel Tuesday readers!

The final two contestants prepared themselves for the big news.

Malaria braced herself in case she was declared the loser....

Finally, after MONTHS of competition, the winner was declared as...

THIS PERSON!

And then!

AND SO....

The winner was sent their amazing 1st place prizes:
- a used BRAND NEW car
- money to start their own fashion line (aka a gift card to Jo-Ann Fabric & Crafts)

The winner, bathed in a celebratory glow, immediately enjoyed their prizes and drove off into their promising future.

And so the season is over! Congrats winner!!

Thanks so much to:
- My judges
- My readers who shared in the pain and joy (and patiently waited for me to finish the Fall '09 semester)
- Polt for being the mentor!
- And of course, my participants! You were all wonderful and far exceeded my expectations! I am so glad that each and every one of you decided to participate. The season wouldn't be the same without you!

Ink On A Pin

I come from a pretty tattooed family. My mother has prox. a dozen tattoos and both of my sisters have like four or something.

And now my friends are starting to get tattooed as well. Stevenson, Steph, and Delisa were all tattooed prior to 2010.

And just a few days ago, Christie went to get her first tattoo.

All this tattoo talk makes me think, "Should I get one?" Of course, I can't do anything without getting approval from my readers! So, help me pick one out.

Obviously, my tattoo would be related to something I'm passionate about.

How about a tattoo that resembles my favorite singer?!?! Y'all know I love Britney and Mariah. How about one of these?

Or maybe James Brown?

Although I don't often discuss religion, I am a practicing Smuthzian so maybe I'll get a tat of Jesus Christ!

I also love video games. So maybe I'll get a tattoo of a classic video game character, like Ryu from Street Fighter, the Duck Hunt dog, or Mario and Luigi!

In order to make the tattoo look like the actual person, you have to find an amazing tattoo artist.

..............
So maybe I'll just stick with something easy and CLASSY, like simple writing!

That last dude had the right idea! He quoted the wonderful Goo Goo Dolls song, "Iris." If I do get a tattoo, I think I would get some lyrics scribbled somewhere on my emaciated frame.

I'd probably get something that Stevie Nicks wrote. How about?

Never have I been a blue calm sea / I have always been a storm

While I do love that quote (it's depressing, beautiful, and written by Stevie!), it is a little long. I was also thinking about the Leona Naess lyric:

So long, big love
It's short, simple, and depressing! Perfect. I would want the tattoo hidden kind of, so that only the one I marry will ever see it. I was thinking about maybe the thighish area. How's this look?

Even if I do get one, it won't be until I'm at least 30 years old or something, so I have a while. What do you say? Should I get one?! What kind? Do you have some?!?!

Gone, I Say

Although I don't plan on ascending to heaven anytime soon, I am interested in the subject of death (meaning I love depressing poetry about death and am extremely scared of it!) and I do pay close attention to detail. So although I'm only 21, I've planned how I want my funeral to go.

I know, this entry might seem kind of morbid. But I asked my followers on Twitter whether I should blog about my funeral and got responses like "Yes! Please do!" and "I can't wait to attend!" So here it is.

First of all, and very importantly, I do NOT want a viewing.

I've had a lot of conversations about this with my friends, and some of them say, "But your family members won't be able to say goodbye unless they physically SEE your decomposing corpse!" And I'm not against open casket in general (as long as I look good!), so I can have an open casket funeral, but NO viewing! I don't need a bunch of people sitting in a room with my cold body for the whole night, just so they can pay attention to who is crying the hardest. Please, if you wanna see my body then look at the funeral, not at a special death party the night before!

Also, I don't need flowers. Sure they look nice, but what use are they really? They just shrivel up and die. So please save your money! Instead, you can purchase an approved CD (the list of approved CDs will be with Josh) and enjoy my favorite music in my memory!

So, my whole funeral is going to be outdoors. And I don't care if it's winter; suck it up! You think you're cold?! At least you can still feel!!

Now that we've taken care of those details, here's how the funeral service will go down.
It will start with Josh reading my favorite poem, "The Truth The Dead Know."

(And if Josh happens to die before I do, I'll read it as his funeral!)

This will be followed by the concert section of my funeral.

Katy Perry will perform "Thinking of You"

Then Kelly Clarkson will sing "Sober"

Then Stevie Nicks (who will already be dressed in black probably) will grab Lindsay and they will come and sing two songs, "Storms" and "Beautiful Child."

As an encore, all four of the performers will come out and sing a medley of Joni Mitchell's "Blue," Regina Spektor's "Samson," and "Didn't We Almost Have It All" by Whitney Houston.

Following the concert, the feature film Precious will be screened, in its entirety.

I know, this seems kind of long. But if you leave AT ANY POINT IN THE FUNERAL you will be considered really rude and everyone will throw stuff at you!

After Precious, attendees can finally leave. As they walk away, an orchestra (with a lot of strings!) will play sad music (occasionally mixing in some Britney or Ke$ha). The end!

Alright, so now whenever I die I have this record. My funeral better go exactly like this or I will haunt all of you!!

Entertain Me

I feel bad doing entries that feature a random assortment of things rather than one, cohesive thought, but oh well.

So here's my life in entertainment at the moment:

Book: Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

I'm about 200 pages into Jeffrey Eugenides' Middlesex and loving it more and more each day! Eugenides is the writer of The Virgin Suicides, a book that I read in December '09. From reading TVS I knew that Eugenides is a fantastic writer, but like Mr. Keys, I thought the plot wasn't the strongest point in the book. It was good enough and I liked many of the plot elements (the overall plot of five sisters committing suicide within a year is interesting in itself), but I thought it was kind of thin. Well Middlesex contains the same great writing while having a much more fleshed-out storyline.

Like many of my favorite books, Middlesex takes place over a very long period of time. It tells the story of Calliope Stephanides, a hermaphrodite living in 1980s Michigan. In order to understand why Cal got those two recessive genes, she narrates the novel by sharing her family history, starting with her grandparents who lived in Greece in 1922. The novel then proceeds through three generations of the Stephanides family until we end with Cal's own story.

Plotwise, this book is completely different from TVS and I'm glad that Eugenides is talented enough to write such disparate novels that, for their own reasons, are both excellent.

Music: Animal by Ke$ha

Alright, I know... Ke$ha looks like she's going to vomit all the time or something, but her CD is ridiculously catchy! I still think "Tik Tok" features the stupidest lyrics of all time and I hate the way she talks on the track rather than sings, but the rest of the CD isn't like that.

Are the lyrics profound? No, but they're fun and often humorous. I've already started tweeting them and making them my Facebook statuses! Ke$ha refers to herself as a "lovesick crackhead," says she wants to "dance with no pants on (holla!)," and after telling some hombre that she loves him she asks him if he wants to have a slumber party in her basement. After a night of partying (at a rich dude's house) she wakes up in the front yard and can't find her coat; but she don't care cause she's young and broke. And after driving her friend's broke a*# around, that girl only ended up telling everyone the details of Ke$ha's sex life. Juicy!

Check out some of my favorite songs, like the fun opening track "Your Love Is My Drug" And if you're mad at one of your backstabbing friends, send "Backstabber" their way! Or, if some old man keeps hitting on you who is too old for you, you can text him some of the funny lyrics to Dinosaur." If you want to hear some of her more 'serious' songs, then check out "Hungover," "Blind" and "Dancing With Tears In My Eyes."

TV: Six Feet Under

Since I don't watch live television, I have to catch up on shows after they've gone off air. I'm currently watching Six Feet Under, a show I've been meaning to watch for a long time. I'm done with season 1 which I thought was pretty great!

The show follows the Fisher family after the death of family patriarch, Nathaniel Fisher Sr. The rest of the family manages the family funeral business, etc. The show won 9 Emmys and stuff, was called "one of the greatest television series of all time" (by 13 different sources!) and trust me, it's good.

But the best part is Ruth!!!!!

The show mainly follows siblings Nate, David and Claire. But their mother Ruth (played brilliantly by Frances Conroy) is by far my favorite character! She needs better taste in men, but otherwise she is perfect. I find her scenes to usually be the funniest and the most endearing. Ruth makes me laugh and breaks my heart all at once! I only got teary-eyed twice in season 1, and one time was because of Ruth (the other was for a minor character).

And I don't watch Jersey Shore but I thought this video was pretty funny.

 

"You look like my Mommy--uhh, my sister!" "An umbrella? Why, thank you!" Love it!

Video Games: Final Fantasy IV: The After Years

Final Fantasy IV: The After Years is a direct sequel to Final Fantasy IV, one of my favorite games in the series. It follows Ceodore.... wait.

You guys have no idea what I'm talking about.

Enjoy your weekend!

AND P.S.!!!! I hate spoilers, so if you ruin Middlesex or Six Feet Under for me I will never talk to you ever again and will lock my memories of you in an iron chest that I will drop into the deepest darkest depths of the ocean!!!! Thanks.

Hanes His Way

Finally, the moment you've all been waiting for...

An extremely exciting blog post about my underwear!

So last week I was home for winter break. I only expected to be home for a short period of time (I didn't even bring Richard Parker with me!) so I only packed a limited amount of clothing. And somehow, I packed more shirts and socks than underwear! I found myself needing some underwear so I ran to the nearest expensive designer store to spend hundreds on a few pairs of underwear.

After browsing, I found the cheapest underwear in the store. They were Hanes underwear, tw0 pairs for $5.99. UMMM... $6 for TWO pairs of underwears?!?! This didn't seem right to me so I kept searching and searching. But among the Armani and 2xist underwear, the Hanes were the cheapest. So I went to pay... but then I saw another wall of underwear!

However, as I approached the display I realized that I was in the kid's section of the store. Still, I am always looking for a discount so I looked at the back of the men's underwear package I was holding to check the size chart.

I flipped over a kid's package and GUESS WHAT I FOUND?!

Yup, a men's S is for a 28 waist and SO IS A KID'S XL!!!!!!! So why is this important?!
Because the kid's package came with THREE pairs of underoons and was only $4.99. A DOLLAR LESS?! A PAIR MORE?! Yes, please!

I cartwheeled over to the register and purchased my cheap underwear then used that extra dollar to purchase a delicious sweet tea from McDonalds. What a glorious day.

It's Just That It's Delicate

For the first #MusicMonday Monday Music Moment of the year, I want to talk about crying. And of course, I mean crying while listening to music.

I remember the first time I ever cried while listening to a song. I had my old skool CD player with me as I accompanied someone to get their nails did. (I don't remember whether it was a sister or my mother.)

I was waiting for my female family member to pay the Asian lady and listening to Christina Aguilera's Stripped for the first time. I finally got to track 19, "I'm OK." And then, I got teary-eyed/confused!

While I probably cried to a song earlier than 2002, this is the first one I specifically remember. Since then, I've found my tear ducts working to Maria Mena, Brand New, Damien Rice, and of course, Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks.

So while me and my BFF think crying to songs is completely normal, not everyone does. Sometimes I'll say "That song made me cry!" and a friend will be like, "What?! You cry at music?! I only cry at movies (like Titanic)."

So readers, is it strange to cry to music? If not, what songs make you leak?!