Life as a Busser: Water and Bread

I haven't been able to update recently because I've been working A LOT.
So I figured I'd share something about my job.

The main things that bussers are in charge of are water and bread.

When a table first comes, I have to ask them what type of water they want BEFORE their server asks for drink orders.




Here are some of the most popular responses (all taken from real life!!)









Once the server takes the menu away, I have to bring out bread.
Now the problem with my job is that we offer all different kinds of bread.



Meaning that a table will see bread come out for one table and then get a completely different type of bread! So of course they lie and say they need a SPECIFIC type of bread, aka the bread that the table next to them got! Other complaints involve the temperature of the bread and the lack of butter...








And although these people can annoy me, I'm really glad to work in the restaurant business so that I can meet all types of crazy people.

ABCs

Certain moments in your life stay with you until you die. Not only do they define who you are, but they influence you and even change you so much that these moments eventually shape the lives of your children. Examples of such moments include birth, going through puberty, your first love, loss of virginity, marriage, etc.

Well today, such a moment happened to me: I got my ABC card, meaning that I can serve alcohol at my place of employment!!

So first I had to go to the police station and fill out a form. BOO to police! At least I like filling out forms... that aren't stupid like this one!!

Here is my co-worker Ryan filling out a form.

She's brand new at the restaurant and she's really cool. Too bad she got sent to the police station on her second day of work!

So the form was basically ridiculous! Place of birth?!? Am I just supposed to know that off the top of my head without my birth certificate? I had to text my mom to find that out.

Plus, look at the numbering! 5. is Zip Code, 6. is Date of Birth. Well what about "Phone Number," crammed between the two? I guess that would be 5.5. But honestly, all it is is an example of bad form making!

So after AN HOUR of waiting, I had to go get my picture taken. The cop said "You look like you're ready to beat the sh*t out of somebody! You wanna f*ck someone up?"
YES! A COP said that!

Then my life basically ended cause I had to give him TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS for this stupid card!!

Isn't my smirk amazing?
So I actually liked my pic and my card. When I got back to work my manager took the card and I'll never see it again. All that for nothing.

My Dog Loves Me

Meet my dog!
He's a 9 year old black Cockapoo (Cocker Spaniel/Poodle mix) named Onyx.
And I think he loves me.

You Should See My Scars

So everyone knows that I don't wear shorts because then people make fun of me and say my legs are too skinny and then I get insecure and cry myself to sleep.
BUT if I did wear shorts, I bet everyone would ask me about the scar on my thigh.

Ok, so maybe it's not that noticeable anymore, but you can see it if you look real hard. Anyway, the story of how I got this scar is quite interesting...

One day, when I was like 6 or 7 or maybe 10, I was jumping on the couch while my sister sat next to me. She was using a pair of scissors to cut up the letters my dad sent us, in which he begged us to visit him in jail. My sister thought I looked pretty funny jumping on the couch and was laughing quite uproariously.


My mother was not laughing.

She yelled at me and told me to stop jumping on the couch before I kill myself or worse: ruin her new couch.

So did I listen to her? Of course not!! (I was a rotten child btw)

My sister walked away for a moment but left her scissors on the couch. Since my mother no longer seemed so annoyed, I wasn't having fun anymore. So I plopped down on the couch so I could go pull my older sister's hair, but I landed on the scissors.

When I screamed in pain, my sister came running back into the room. She saw the blood that filled the living room and saw the source of the blood-my bleeding thigh!


She carried me into the kitchen so my mother could see the wound and then decide what to do with me.


But my mother just said "I told you to stop jumping on the couch..." She then told my sister that since she left the scissors on the couch, she had to take them out of my leg!

My sister was scared, but being the strong, fearless black woman that she is, she pulled the scissors from my leg and called a cab to take me to the hospital.

So then I got 49 stitches and a scar that will always remind me to never jump on the couch. Apparently the story doesn't end there... My family loves talking about how I slapped the hot doctor because getting stitches hurt me.

On a related note, my family seems to have bad luck when it comes to jumping on couches. My older sister fell off the couch while jumping on it and bit off the tip of her tongue!

And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like that time when I forgot to tell you about the scar
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
- Maria Mena

Bowling

So today I finally had a day off so I went bowling! I hadn't gone in a long time, so I expected to suck.

I went to the wrong bowling alley first >: O
But then I showed up at the right one, where Claudia and Brittany were waiting for me. Shanique and Jordan came later and we went in to start.

I brought my own bowling shoes (cause I'm that good that I have my own bowling shoes!) but the woman got an attitude with me. She said I couldn't bowl in them cause I was wearing them outside. I told her that yelling at me probably makes her feel like an important person, but actually all it makes her is a stupid whore. So she let me use them!

Claudia used the name "Destroyer" and I chose "FJLREJEIXPAUIHLD" for our bowling names!


Jordan used "Abonimator" and Shanique used "Shoneek."


Brittany used "Britknee." She was on our high school's bowling team, which I basically count as cheating.

Sadly, the stupid computer only recognized the first letters of our sweet names.

Anyway, it was a pretty fun time! Whenever I went everyone was so excited and cheered as I bowled strikes and spares! Claudia was excited every time she bowled-even when she got gutter balls!

But when Jordan went, everyone was sooo bored.

And by the time we left, Claudia and Brittany were pregnant somehow...

This was the final score. Guess I'm just really amazing with my almost perfect score......

Then we went to Burger King and chatted for hours about high school and how much fun we had there!

And that's it. I love days off...

My Ride

So people are always asking me about my car since it's so sweet.
I have a blue 1990 Oldsmobile. Considering the way cars are released in correlation to their year (meaning 1990 models come out in 1989), my car is actually only a year younger than I am!

My Oldsmobile is actually my first car, which means I have to love it. I love sitting in my car and turning on the radio and getting ready to drive. But then I don't actually like the driving part since gas is so expensive. I wonder how much gas was for my car when it was first made... Hmm...

So my favorite feature of my car is my bench seat!


Sometimes people say "Oooooh, a bench seat!" hinting at romantic endeavors in the front seat of my car. But since I'm single, nothing like that happens. Also, there is never a big dog in my front seat like the above picture.

I did some research recently to find out who drove my car before I did. I managed to find pictures of the previous owners that were taken at the time when they drove the car.
The first ever owner was this guy.


Well I guess he was pretty old when he was driving my car. But despite popular opinion, Oldsmobiles are NOT only driven by old people!
The next owner's were young... at heart!

Well these old people who drove my car from 1995 to 1999 sure look feisty. I wonder if they found more use of the bench seat that I have......

The final owner before me was this kind lady, wearing this fierce fish sweater.

She drove the car from 1999 to 2004. Then she went blind and stopped using it for a while before selling it to me for $21,008.66.

And so the history of my car ends with me, for now.

See! Young people drive Oldsmobiles!

Edward Norton!

Yesterday I went to the movies with Shanique. We saw Edward Norton!!! I mean, The Incredible Hulk.


Shanique used my NEW phone to take a pic of me standing next to Mr. Norton. It had no shutter sound, so I didn't know when the pic was being taken, which is why I look so awkward.


I really enjoyed the movie! I think the Spider-man movies will probably be my favorite comic book inspired movie, but this movie was pretty good. I don't know why critics are complaining about the lack of character and story. I mean, there WAS a lot of action (which was interesting and well-choreographed) but the movie wasn't mostly action.

I think the Bruce Banner character was fleshed out. I felt for him. Oh wait, maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention to the story because Ed Norton was on the screen the whole time...


Then again, when it comes to characterization, Liv Tyler kind of got left out. She was just on the verge of tears and acting sympathetic the entire time. But seriously, we know we're seeing an action film. so we don't expect complexity to such a high degree in every character anyway.

I'm kinda upset about the 'feud' between Ed Norton and Marvel. Apparently Norton rewrote the script to add the lacking characterization that critics see, but his script was not used in the final product. I'd be mad too. But it's being said that he probably will not reprise the role in The Avengers movie. That sucks.

I think he should just meditate and think of how happy he'll make fans by returning...

New Phone

I finally got my new phone!

I was due for an upgrade and got the AT&T Tilt.


So far, I really love the phone. At first I was not so thrilled with the touch screen idea, but now I use the touch screen functions a lot. I even tend to type using the touch screen rather than the QWERTY keyboard that slides out.

My last phone was an older Blackberry, and it annoyed me.

I did like the keyboard and the way the messages showed the message history, but I still didn't love the phone. I missed Windows Mobile (which the Tilt has) and it had no camera or even picture messaging!

Here's a picture of me using my Blackberry (and that's my roommate Ross!)


Now, I don't normally look bad in pictures. So the fact that I look bad while using my Blackberry must mean that it wasn't the right phone for me.

Employee Relations

So the other day at work, I might have gotten into a confrontation with a co-worker. Here's the story.
(Please note that because I could not take pictures of my co-worker, and because my digital camera doesn't work anyway, I have used two Hollywood actors to portray myself and my co-worker).

In the restaurant where I work as a busser, we have an outside patio, known as "the back." So the other day I come into work and set up the back, meaning put plates, silverware, and cups on each table. While I was setting, I noticed that my co-worker was watching me. When I went inside, she started what would become a most memorable work experience...


So, after this cold-hearted sarcasm made me cry and almost quit my job, this waitress didn't tip me after a hard day's work.
So I told my manager and may have gotten her fired. Oops.

But she was at work with me TODAY and again, her sarcasm made me cry.


Unnecessary right?

Credits:
Me....................................Edward Norton
Mean Waitress....................Jennifer Lopez

Tina Chen

I've decided that I really love Tina Chen.
The best Tina moment of all is captured in the first few seconds of this clip.

Enjoy. It'd be impossible not to.

Tonight...

...we will connect the dots.