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Sunday, October 17, 2010

No Boundariez: The Movie Business Bites

Last time on No Boundariez... The boys attempted to break into the movie business by attending a movie premiere, but failed to make connections. But right as the boys pulled out their copies of Anne Sexton's Wanting to Die and put on Katy Perry's "Thinking of You," their sobfest came to an end when Josh found a poster looking for actors to cast in an upcoming Hollywood film...

So Enrico and Josh decided that it was time to stop constantly daydreaming about winning an Oscar and actually put their plans into motion. They called their manager Michelle. After informing her about the audition notice Josh found and after crying rivers of anticipatory joy, Michelle decided that her two young starlets needed to be prepped properly for their upcoming roles. She sent our duo a spooktastic care package to ensure they’d look the part and get even more into character than thespian Paris Hilton did in her Oscar-snubbed debut in House Of Wax. She also drafted a press release and headshots [feat. Mariah’s/Kelly’s retoucher] to send to the casting directors.

Michelle made one final call to the production company. After listening to some boring lady blah blah blah about appointment times and scripts and the DiReCtoR’s ViSiOn, they got an audition time set up and she sent her two favo celebz-in-traning on their way to prepare. The snoozefest casting director told Michelle that they were putting together a full-action, romance-heavy, sci-fi-friendly dark drama aimed at teens [read as: yet another dumbo vampire flick] and that they were looking for some extras to suck blood, stare off broodingly and be pale in the background while the guaranteed A-list celebs make out and act well [aka look sexxxy] in the foreground.

The next day, Enrico y Josh received their Fed-EX packages and were primed and ready to take the audition room by STORM.

The casting director was well-known throughout Ke$hawood Hollywood and had worked with hot young talent like Dakota Fanning, Thora Birch and Rumer Willis while casting roles for modern day classics like “There Will Be Blood, “Capote” and “The Hottie and the Nottie.” Truth be told, Enrico and Josh were a touch nervous, but they crushed their fears and released their inhibitions, cuz seriously no one else can speak the words on their lips.

The casting director contemplated for prox. 17 seconds before realizing that Enrico and Josh were great for the parts she needed filled. She called the director, then called Michelle to let her know that the boys got the parts!! Michelle called her favorite boys with the great news.

Because the movie was so high quality, Enrico and Josh had to wait a whole two months for the movie to be released.

Michelle called them a month prior with the unfortunate news that, much like Bring It On: Fight to the Finish and Bring It On: In It To Win It, their movie was being released straight-to-DVD.

The boys were a little saddened by the news, but were in high spirits when they learned that their mugs found there way onto the cover of the DVD!!

When the budding stars were searching under their furniture for pennies so they would have enough money to buy the DVD, they got another call from their manager.

Since the studio couldn't afford a DVD printing, the movie was being released straight to VHS. Josh and Enrico tried to find some D.I.N.O.$.A.U.R. who still had a VCR so they could watch the flick, but when neither David nor Polt had one, they gave up, letting their dreams of starring in a hit film burn to the ground.

Feeling defeated, the boyz remembered what Leona Lewis told them on her smash hit single "Happy" - You gotta find your place. You gotta hear your sound.

Inspired, the duo began planning their next shortcut to the life of the rico y famoso.

15 comments:

Tam said...

Brilliance, sheer brilliance. If you get your butts up here to Canada I HAVE a VCR (well, it's built into the DVD so I figure that makes it okay).

The animated picture was adorable. Who knew Enrico would make such a cute mermaid?

Now you've got something to put on the resume I'm sure the next role will be bigger and win you the awards you so richly deserve.

Ryan said...

I have always seen the two of you breaking into the music business first and doing a cross over into movies afterward.

Milo said...

Loved the sequence, especially the Little Mermaid!

john said...

OK, Enrico makes a totally sexy vampire. And such angst! He looks positively rabid with that frying pan. Oh, and "The post-Destiny's Child career of Michelle Williams" was brilliant.

I also have a VCR Tam, though, I admit, I rarely use it.

Good luck with the next step of your career. As a bit of advice, you might want to tell your manager that at her level of employment, she might want to upgrade to water proof mascara.

that's J-O-S-H said...

I LOVE YOU + I. WE'RE SO FUNNY AND PERFECT.

And thanks for not calling me sexxxy, John. RUDE!

Delisa said...

Yay a Gone With The Wind reference (even though you haven't seen it lol)!!! And I love the Michelle Williams joke, I actually laughed out loud hahaha

Great VHS cover art btw. It would make a great poster! Next time boys!

adam said...

It took me minutes to play Where's Waldo ...err... Joshrico in the cover art. Save me some Fruit By The Foot!

Chris D. said...

Cute post. I like the color pallet in the first photo of Josrico. The girl playing the director has adorable facial expressions. Joshrico's antics are funny. I love their animated side. ;) Michell M., seems like such a good agent. Good luck on your continued quest for frame and fortune.

Polt said...

Michelle M. looks so professional when she's on the phone.

I actually DO have a VCR (shut up), but since I wasn't offered a photo in this melodrama, I just methaphorically took my marbles and went home.

And even though you didn't get to see it, I did, and you guys were MARVELOUS! I've never seen such professional and dramatic Vampire Extras #6 & #7 in Scene 17! (or at least that's how you were credited)

HUGS...

David said...

I have a VCR, too, Polt. **sigh**

Josh and Enrico are stars, but Michelle kind of stole the show. She's the Kristin Chenowith of blog posts.

Anonymous said...

Love Little Mermaid!! So Cute!! And I have a VCR in my spare room you didn't ask me!! :o(

tj

GoKitty said...

Enrico - your hair is looking so cute!

Michelle M. said...

eh - vampires are a dime a dozen anyway. Maybe we should be pushing you two into comedy - you crack me up.

I love the little mermaid pic. I didn't even notice at first that josh was Flounder!

David, have I ever told you that you're my favorite?

Craig said...

I'm so late! But this is amazing! Love the little mermaid pic!

goblinbox said...

I think there's a VCR in the basement somewhere. My aunt has a betamax.