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Bloody Laundry

Growing up, I read some books over and over. I don't even know how many times I read Hop on Pop or Me First or some of my favorite Goosebumps thrillers.

Another book I read repeatedly was called Scary Stories for Stormy Nights. As the title indicates, it's a collection of scary stories that I would read not only on stormy nights, but any time of day in any weather. While I enjoyed many of the stories, one was always the scariest for me... and that was "Bloody Laundry."

So the other day, I was bored and decided to make a movie. And when going through my books randomly, I happened to stumble upon Scary Stories for Stormy Nights. So I present to you my movie version of "Bloody Laundry"! I directed it and begrudgingly played a minor role (I hate acting!). Watch it 10 times (to increase the view count) and let me know what you think!

7 Things: Summer

Y'all remember Miley Cyrus? Well, I was listening to one of MileyBird's amazing singles the other day and it inspired me.

You know how in "7 Things," Ms. Cyrus lists the seven things she hates in her beau, then, in the final chorus, lists the seven things she likes? Well I've decided to copy that format and list seven things I like and hate about different subjects! Up first, summer.

The 7 Things I Hate About Summer


1. Heat
This one doesn't need much explanation, right? Especially after last week! I was so hot in my house (with no a/c) that I spent much of the heatwave weekend hiding in the library. Being hot is so uncomfortable and I just keep looking out the window hoping for snow.

2. Fleas
Living with six five cats can be great at times. But all the cats are outdoor cats so they bring fleas in with them. Fleas are tiny, annoying, and extremely elusive, and apparently they only come out in the summer. At one point, I had to vacuum my room every day to make sure they weren't in my floorboards. Everything's under control now, but I can't let the cats in my room, and that's sad.

3. Weeds
I spent a few days earlier this summer planting a garden with my roommate Shawn. Now, the garden is filled with tomatoes, cucumbers, kale, peppers, zucchini, beans, chard, basil, lettuce and weeds. The weeds came out of nowhere and tried to strangle all our vegetables. It's tough work weeding the garden (in the heat!), making weeds one of the seven things I hate about summer.

4. Other People's Vacations
I'm poor! Other people keep going on vacation, making me sad that I can't take off work and can't afford to travel.

5. The Air Conditioning In My Office
OK, I know I just talked about hating heat, but the a/c in my office is O.O.C. I have to wear a hoodie AND wrap a blanket around myself at work because it's freezing in the office! It's true that I'd rather freeze than be hot, but I don't know why someone in the office can't just adjust the temperature so I could remove my blanket. It's so awkward going into the bathroom and using a urinal with a blanket wrapped around me...

6. Not Getting New Syllabi
Call me a nerd if you want, but I usually like the end of summer because I begin to get new syllabi for the upcoming fall semester of college. But I graduated in May, so now I don't get any new syllabi :(

7. Dress Codes
This mostly applies to work, but when it's unbearable outside, I just want to wear shorts and a white t-shirt. But since I work all week, I have to leave the house each morning with long pants since I can't wear shorts at work. Today, it was so hot that I actually wore shorts there and changed in the car!


The 7 Things I Like About Summer


1. Prolonged Daylight
I sometimes don't get out of work until 7 or later, and it's so nice to leave and see that it's still light outside. Not only does that mean I get to drive home in daylight (I don't drive in the dark), but I get to read outside for a bit when I get home.

2. True Blood
I didn't much like seasons 2 or 3 of True Blood, but the new season is so good! I love the storylines (especially the way they ended the boring ones I didn't like from last season), the writing is funny ("Shut up or make up a new chant already!"), and I think they are doing a much better job at pacing. I don't mind when shows move a little slower and calm down with the drama.

3. Concerts
My summer concert schedule began with Katy Perry (amazing!) and is really picking up steam next week, as I'm seeing Ellie Goulding, Lykke Li, and Britney Spears all within a week!

4. Pool Olympics
Invented a few years ago, Pool Olympics is an amazing competition where teams battle in various events in order to win the competition. I'm the creator of the PO and this summer I've already played twice, bringing new games into the mix (recreate a famous movie scene involving water, dive for change) to make this summer a great summer for Pool Olympics!

5. Summer Reading
Since I usually spend most of the fall/winter/spring reading books for school, summer is always a great opportunity to read for fun! This summer I've read a bunch of great books, like Kafka on the Shore, Wide Sargasso Sea, Freedom, all three books in The Hunger Games trilogy, and I'm almost done with The Magus. I guess that's not that many books, but three of them were over 500 pages, so I've done a lot of reading!

6. Summer Driving
Barefoot, windows down, screaming Adele.

7. Fridays
The day that Rebecca Black and Katy Perry celebrate in song is really a great day for me this summer. Not only do I get to participate in JET Fridays with my good friends (Jenna, Enrico, Todd), but I also don't have to work on Fridays! It's the best!

Catch Me While I'm Sleeping

Many of you know that on my list of least favorite things, cops and paying for things are near the top of the list. Unfortunately, I was in the city recently and had a terrible moment where both of these things came together.... Yes, I got a ticket! BOO!!

Here's the story.

I was dancing in the city with some of my BFFs, Delisa and Josh. We were having fun, looking like these people, just less blurry.

We left around 2:30 and took the subway back to Brooklyn. When we were one stop away from Jay Street, I decided to take a nap, so I leaned by head against the metal bars at the end of the seat (I know, not the ideal pillow), scrunched up into a little ball, and fell asleep.

Well, my nap was interrupted at the next stop when I heard a banging near my head. I open my eyes to see a cop banging her stick against the metal bars and she's like, "Step off the subway." So I followed her (and the three male cops accompanying her...) off the subway and she asked me for my license. I gave it to her and she ran it and said, "If you have any warrants out, we'll have to take you in." And I was like,

Alright, so at this point I was sure that the cops were just trying to find a drunk person so they could give them a ticket for public intoxication. Since I'm a teetotaller, I figured I'd be fine; they would see it was six months and I was still sober and let me go. However, after the approx. 4 hours it took to run my license, the female cop handed my license to one of the male cops who started writing me a ticket!

When I got the ticket, I read it and saw that the official reason for the ticket was "obstruction of seating." In the note section, the cop wrote, "Observed resp lying down across bench aboard a s/b F train occupying more than one seat."

LYING ACROSS?! No. I was not like this guy:

Or even this woman:

Y'all know how I can squeeze myself into a little ball. Was I taking up more than one seat? Probably. Two at the most. But it was 3am and no one needed the seat!! Plus, while there are signs saying you can't smoke, listen to music, litter, eat, block the conductor's station, or walk between cars while the train is moving, there are no signs about taking up more than one seat!

So I just was like

and got back on the subway and we went home.

Now I'm wondering whether I should try to fight the ticket. What do y'all think? Has this ridiculous ticket ever been fought successfully?! Should I just pay the ridiculously costly ticket ($50)?!

Overdrive

In sharing life stories on this blog, I've often delved into the darkest moments of my life. I've posted about almost being attacked by a creep, the biggest upset in history, some car trouble, and even the passing of my beloved pet. This following story is one of the darkest moments of all, capturing a day of my life that I will never forget. I have rarely known such terror as I did on this day... The day of...

My driving test.

I should have anticipated the horror that awaited me. As some of my older friends began getting their licenses, they would warn me, "When you go to take the road test, make sure you don't get the mean lady!" Everyone who took the test told me this, even people who didn't actually have to perform for "the mean lady." Whether they had a personal experience with her or not, everyone knew her and knew she was awful, kind of like "Born This Way."

So I go in for my test, pull up to the little station, and out comes the mean lady. I knew it was her immediately by the way she scowled as she climbed into the passenger seat. At first, she didn't seem that mean, so I was temporarily optimistic.

The start of the test wasn't bad. I just drove around in circles while she barked questions at me: "How long have you been driving?!" "When's the last time you practiced?!" "Do you know where the center of the road is?!?!" She wasn't super pleasant, but she didn't make me cry yet, so I was sure everything would be fine.

Then I got to parallel parking.

Now, living in Lambertville for a year has made me a pretty great parallel parker. But back in the day, I wasn't so great at is (who is at 16 years old?). I didn't hit the cone, but I did brush the curb. I heard that that's not a huge deal, so I asked the mean lady if I could go again. Finally, some of her nastiness came out.

I successfully completed my second attempt at parallel parking and then did my k-turn. (Seriously, why is a k-turn on the test? Who can't do a k-turn?!) I started going toward the exit, hoping that I would pass despite my brief contact with the curb. But this is where things got really bad.

To leave the little driving test track, you have to turn left at the end of the track. You can also go right, but that just leads to more random test track, and I was done with my test! So I put on my blinker to go left, began to make the turn, and then...

The mean lady started screaming at me to turn so loud, that I assumed I was going the wrong way and made a very sharp right turn, back onto the test track. Only I was now going against traffic.

Luckily, there was no one else on the track. Still, the mean lady was not happy with this latest development. Unfortunately, I decided this would be a good moment to talk back to her.

I remember her words exactly. Jerky? How was I the jerk?! She was the one yelling at me and made me go the wrong way! She was not pleased at all that I talked back to her, and I didn't want to make her even angrier, so I just shut my mouth and sped around the track to get back to the exit. I approached the practice STOP sign and decided to stop a little too late, after I had already passed the white line. This made her pretty livid.

Again, I spoke back to her, but this time, I think it helped me. I said, "I didn't stop because I thought the test was over! Now I'm just gonna drive back to the station!!" She didn't say anything at all, so I drove back to the station and she got out.

I looked back at Mike, who brought me to the test and let me use his car, and made a grim face. I had friends who failed their first road test and I went into the test determined to not follow in their footsteps. Now I had blown it.

The mean lady came over to my window and glowered at me until I rolled the window down. She didn't even bend down when she spoke, but she said, "I don't know... It must be your lucky day. Take this and show it to the people inside to get your license." Somehow, I'd passed! I got away from her as fast as possible and got my license, on my first try!

So what's the moral of this story? I guess to never give up, even when you're sure you've already lost. Or maybe it has an even simpler moral: when you go to take the road test, make sure you don't get the mean lady!